Insomnia and five nights of zero sleep is what triggered my first episode – though psychiatric professionals saw it as a symptom of the psychosis. I disagree. Life stresses set off insomnia: worries; fears; betrayals; job losses; relationship problems; you name it. We’re hard wired to be able to quickly deal with threats through our fight or flight mechanism. And… Read more →
Catherine G Lucas, co-founder of the Spiritual Crisis Network UK published her first book In Case Of Spiritual Emergency, which validates non ordinary states of consciousness. Transpersonal experiences are usually pathologised by the mental health system. Catherine’s book is an essential read for anyone who has been through a transformational crisis, especially if this has been seen as a psychosis… Read more →
In 2009 Katie Mottram took an overdose. She hated herself and felt like she had ruined her life and she had no choice but to die. Her mother had been through the psychiatric system and had also tried to kill herself. The effect on Katie, as a child, was profound. This is where her depression stemmed from. Despairing and suicidal,… Read more →
After 6 months of sending out proposals to agents, looking for someone else to believe in me, and receiving either rejections or worse still, no response at all, I’m feeling despair.
I sent a total of 34 proposals out: 18 of which received rejections and 16 I never heard back from. The standard response went something like this:
“Thank you for sending us this material, but I’m afraid it isn’t suitable for us. I’m sorry to disappoint, and wish you luck with your future writing.”
Only one agent gave me feedback as to why they didn’t go for it:
“Thanks so much for contacting us. I’ve read the sample material with interest. While I liked the chapters I wasn’t sufficiently swept along by the narrative to know that I’d be the best advocate for the book. Sorry! Best of luck elsewhere.”
The email I cherished the most, which I devoured like a drop of rain in the desert, came from Cara at the HHB Agency:
“Dear Emma, Thank you for your submission to HHB. I enjoyed reading your work, you write well, with intensity and style. However, as a small agency we are only ever able to take on a limited number of authors and I am afraid in this instance, we were not able to take you work further. I wish you all the best. All best, Cara”
One of the reasons I wanted to find a publisher was because I felt I wanted support to get the book out into the world. It is an entirely different process from writing the actual thing and requires very different skills. I’ve come to accept that I’m going to have to climb that particular mountain alone.
Thankfully there is help online at every step of the way.
The first thing I’ve done is to learn about cover design. I had a meeting with a graphic designer friend who very humbly said she wasn’t up for the job. I found a designer online, called Derek Murphy, who shared the secrets to designing a bestselling book cover. I’ve talked with bookshop assistants to find out what they think. I’ve played with different ideas and now, with a drum roll, I unveil the cover of my first book.
A huge thanks goes to artist Adriane Vinter from Norway for permission to use her image ‘Straight Jacket’.
The first time I was about to lose my ego, I had this sudden terrifying thought that I was going to die. A feeling of impending annihilation took hold of me. It seemed totally illogical because there was no actual physical threat. It was as if a part of me knew that my ego was about to shatter. Because in… Read more →
If you’ve had a breakdown and were treated like there was something wrong with you then you probably feel a sense of shame. But you might be missing the purpose of the breakdown and the potential it holds to transform your life. I recommend reading Servants of the Sacred Dream, by Linda Hartley, which validates the experience of breakdown, helping… Read more →
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